FAD – Focused AND Detached

“When your consciousness is directed outward, mind and world arise. When it’s directed inward, it realizes its own Source and returns home into the Unmanifested” Eckhart Tolle

The premise of detachment has been running through my cerebral cortex for the last several weeks. Accomplishing the most far-reaching goal of my entire life has had an interesting impact me, and it’s through this realization that I seem to have awakened in some way. I know that might seem a bit on the esoteric side, but bear with me for a while as I unpack my thoughts and attempt to explain. As many of you know by now, the goal I am referring to is the publishing of my first book, My Back Nine. It’s been about two weeks now, and I am still sort of numb to the fact that I actually accomplished this feat. Yes, I know, many people write books, but I have never really been that successful at setting long term goals, persevering through the trials and tribulations of a difficult endeavor, and ultimately achieving the goal. I spent the first half of my life sort of getting what I wanted, but never really spent much time setting and achieving goals. I was always good at starting things and had great ideas, but following through, that was a different story altogether. Well, if you read my last post, you can quickly ascertain that this is no longer the case for me, and goal setting is now a major part of my life. Throughout the course of the last few weeks I have felt such a sense of pride and overwhelming accomplishment, and it’s these thoughts that have led me to this latest post on detachment. I feel that my ego state has altered dramatically, and the pride that I feel is strangely positioned somewhere else, actually in its own space. Almost like the ego decided to go there on its own, and I am still trying to decipher what this means to me. With that said, what I have discovered is that achieving this goal has put me in a great state of Focus AND Detachment.

As is typical for me these days, I awoke in the middle of the night a few nights ago with three letters ringing in my head...FAD. I immediately put the two words, focus and detachment, together as if there was some sort of force merging them. I soon realized that the force was me, and my demeanor was equally connected to both words. I starting thinking to myself that this was a great combination of words, even though they typically don’t go together. I wondered if the shift that I was feeling had a direct correlation with my recent accomplishment. As my thoughts widened and this premise kept marinating, I couldn't’t help but think that perhaps this is how people feel when they have a sense of enlightenment. I thought maybe...just maybe...this could stick, or at least I could generate some momentum for others. You see, one of the reasons I write is to not only inspire myself, but to inspire others...you fine folks reading this now. Therein lies the term FAD, which is a play on words on the surface, but has deeper meaning inside. A FAD is usually something that catches on quickly and is collectively followed with a genuine sense of enthusiasm by many people. Typically, FADs are driven by emotional excitement, peer pressure, and sometimes even a desire to be outside the norm. That part feels right: “outside the norm”, as I contemplate my own feelings these days. However, FADs usually fade quickly once the novelty is gone, a concept that really didn’t sit quite right with me. But as I thought more about FADs, and did some research on topic, I realized that on many occasions a FAD actually turns into a TREND. Now, a TREND on the other hand, is something that can quite often lead to a permanent change. Now that is the more like it, as this premise resonates more soundly with me and my message today.

The meat of my message here today centers on this simple premise:

“To stay totally focused on your day to day activities while staying completely detached from judgment, circumstance, and outcome.”

A good friend of mine used to always say: “Take care of the means and the ends with take care of itself” Very powerful words as they flow perfectly with my thought process today. Seems hard, right? Detachment, especially from circumstances is really hard work. Not to mention, judgment and outcome. How can I stay detached from outcome as I try and achieve my goals? How can I stay detached from my circumstances when so many things are swirling around me? Good questions and we will answer them by breaking down the components of focus and detachment. Let’s start with detachment, due to the fact that this is a bit more difficult to grasp.

Detachment can be described as a feeling of inner peace and/or calmness. Not to be confused with indifference, detachment involves us tapping our one true source of being. For some people, this is obtained through meditation, yoga, and other forms of greater consciousness. For others, like me, it’s their faith and the belief that they are following their true path. There is no correct form of reaching this detached space, and it is different for everyone. However, when we achieve success possessing this emotional and mental detachment, we can accept both the good and the bad equally due to the inner peace we obtain. Now, before I get too far off on a tangent here, of course I am talking in “best case” terms. I, nor anyone else I know, can admit that they are able to stay in this space all of the time. After all, we are human beings, and that sometimes means we cannot control our feelings and will quite often have a difficult time finding this inner peace I’m describing. But knowing it’s there, and knowing that we can tap into this powerful and peaceful force is such an incredible feeling. It’s a feeling of inner strength, the ability to function calmly under all circumstances. When we have this feeling, we are not in a hurry to do anything, we are able to stay present with the people we spend time with, and our concentration and focus seem to have more clarity. I feel this way...right now...how about you?
I always like the analogy of the Lotus Flower. The lotus is a universal symbol for non-attachment for its ability to grow in muddy waters and remain perfect and immaculate.

Focus is a word that I have been using for many years in my business career. However, it wasn’t until I started rediscovering myself that I realize the true impact of this word. In my opinion, focus can only be obtained if our plates are cleared and our minds are right. I always thought that I had targeted focus, but my plate was never clear and my mind was never right. Thus, my attention to detail was lacking, and ultimately, my true outcomes were not achieved. This is different for me now, mostly due to the fact that I am able to live more freely and authentically, two items that have helped me regain my focus.

Here are a few tips on how to improve your focus:

• Setting goals – This is critical to keeping your focus. Without goals, how do you know what to be focused on? Also, how can you possibly stay unattached to outcome if you haven’t even defined what that is for you?
• Prioritize your day, week, month – We all have very busy schedules. In order to stay dialed into what is important for our lives, we need to be clear on what are priorities are. You will be amazed on how focused you become when your priorities are well thought out and organized.
• Reward yourself – Give yourself a break every few hours. Do some reading (always works for me), take a nap, exercise. Break up your day, take some time off, and when you return, you will be refreshed and laser focused.
• Remove distractions – If you are working on a project, turn your phone off and do not check your e-mail. Close the door to your office, your bedroom, the garage. The more time you spend removing distractions, the more focused you will become on the task at hand. Remember, NOT the outcome, the task!!

Those are just a few items to consider while you attempt to stay focused. Your goal is to keep your plate cleared and to keep your consciousness directed “inward” pursuant to the quote that started off this post. My hope is that this inner peace (detachment) and dedication to the task (or person) right in front of you (focus) will light a spark that can perhaps lead to a FAD that has the potential to create a TREND in your life.

Peace…..