Breaking the Chains of “Identity”

The words I’m about to pen have been marinating inside my brain for quite some time, and the overwhelming opinions and “noise” that have surrounded these recent acts of violence in our country have finally lead me to the point of action through writing.  Like most people, I certainly have my own views and opinions on these matters; but my choice today is to attempt to serve up some food for thought that can potentially transcend our own individual opinions on such matters and perhaps lend itself to a movement toward an actual solution.  Not a permanent solution, but maybe a way through to understanding and hope for our future and a gateway to the type of world we would all like to see for our children and grandchildren. 

I took my oldest son to Special Olympics yesterday.  While I sat and watched him and these other special needs children swim and enjoy their time, this topic of identity kept swirling around in my head.  The pure joy of their experience and the selfless acts of the people helping gave me a great sense of peace; knowing that God has a plan for each of these individuals. Nobody was talking about the election, or what happened in Dallas, or Louisiana; they were just trying to swim and enjoy their moment.  I kept thinking to myself that love and respect really are the answers; the simple and pure love and respect for one another that these children express through community, acceptance, and just living everyday life. 

When we watch the media frenzy that surround these recent tragedies in our country and we see all of the Facebook posts that mostly portray messages of outrage and HATE; it’s clear to see that the divisions we have are not going away anytime soon.  When I ponder the current issues at hand; black lives matter, assaulting of white police officers, senseless murder at the nightclub in Orlando, and the unbelievable division with respect to the upcoming elections…..one word has emerged for me….and that word is IDENTITY.  It seems clear to me that we have a problem in this country with identity. Through all of these issues, the stark reality I’ve noticed is that in almost every case these individuals are attaching themselves to a very simple and obvious identity.  We identify ourselves as black or white, straight or gay, republican or democrat, Muslim or Christian; I could go on…..but you get the point.  I believe this to be the “root” of many of the pending issue we face, and it’s my humble opinion that the reason we focus on these types of identities is that many struggle with a deeper meaning of identity, purpose or some connection to the bigger picture.  I also believe that the HATE that has been the byproduct of these identity issues has a direct link to the lack of moral fiber that seems to be growing all around us.  Let me try and explain this a little deeper as it relates to my own struggles and my own issues with identity.

Like many people, I’ve struggled with identity my entire life, and the only thing that has ever helped me see clearly is when I focus on larger items outside myself.  In other words, when I look outside my identity and focus on my children, my family, my faith and helping others…….these acts alone are the only things that have kept me going through the last several years. My own identity issues have been attached to: social stature (I’m not where I should be), financial stature (not where I should be), ego (battling good versus evil), guilt (from my many years of making mistakes), and parenting (not being a good enough father).  The point I wish to make here and something that I’ve just realized recently is that my own attachment to identity over the years has caused me to do things that I should NOT be doing as opposed to keeping my focus on the positive things I mentioned above that are outside and most importantly “above” me and “bigger” than me.  This is where all of the gold lies pursuant to both the problems in our own lives as well as the overarching issues we face as a nation.  I serve up my own struggles to make an analogy to the fact that identity and focus on the wrong things lead us down a path to evil and that focus and attention of the right things (love, respect, faith) lead us down a path to love…….like the Special Olympics children mentioned above.
So, why is all of this happening?  Why do we struggle with identity?  Why is our nation going through all of these difficulties?  Why do we face all of this adversity?  The only logical answer I believe lies in the following Bible verse:

Ephesians 6:12
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms”

This Bible verse is very deep in meaning and has the potential to shed some clarity and light on all of these unanswered questions.  Regardless of what you believe or your level of spirituality, you have to admit that there is evil in this world and that this evil is slithering around like a serpent; striking these individuals with venom, causing them to commit these horrible acts of violence. So, where is this evil coming from?  Who are the rulers and authorities that Paul (author of Ephesians) is referring to?  What identity is attached to these people causing them to commit such unthinkable acts?  Well, although each of us will form own opinions on this answer; none of us can deny the attachments.  Terrorist, Racist Police Officer, angry African American, dishonest Politician…..again I could go on…..but you get the point.  The spiritual forces of evil exist, and it’s not until we come to this realization can we begin to heal and search for solutions.  Like I mention above, the root of this problem of hate is the continuing deterioration of our moral fabric. I hear may people calling out for LOVE and that the only way to combat HATE is with LOVE.  This may sound cliché, but it’s absolutely true.  

Does this mean that you can’t take a stance or have an opinion?  Of course not.  However, posting a rebuttal to recent events that is connected to how you identify yourself is not the way to go.  The only way through this is to attach yourself to this verse:

Mark 12:30-31

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these”

This is a very simple and obvious comment, right?  However, if we are honest with ourselves; how many of us really live this out?  I know I struggle with this daily, especially when I have difficulty loving myself.  Perhaps, this is the place we need to focus….to start.  What does loving yourself really mean outside the self-centered narcissistic lens?  A significant challenge if we are tied to some other identity outside of our faith.  Therefore, how can you love our neighbor if you don’t love yourself?  Interesting, right?  The only solution I see if to focus on the first part of the scripture.  You see, the reason why it says love your Lord God with all of your heart and soul is because when you do that (or attempt to do that) you are on your way to being able to follow through with the rest of the scripture.  And when you don’t; you can’t.  It seems that simple to me today, and I know from first had experience that following God with ALL of your heart and soul is the answer.  When I fall, when  I’m depressed, when I’m angry about recent events, when I feel guilty, when I make mistakes……it has a direct correlation to this verse.  God wants ALL of us AND He wants ALL OF US.  ALL are invited, and regardless of what you believe today; how different do you think our country (the world) would be if EVERY human being on this planet tried to follow this verse? A move in the right direction….for sure. 

You might be thinking; well I’m not a Christian or I don’t believe…..how can this be true?  Well, what else could be the answer?  Education? More programs” More Laws? What other notion can be easier to comprehend and understand?  If you love yourself in a manner that is beyond yourself for a higher purpose.  And you love your neighbor the same way…..wouldn’t all of this violence stop?
Clearly, the answer is yes……but we all know that this is “pie in the sky” thinking. I’ve been accused of being a dreamer my entire life (another identity issue); but if more people followed this Scripture in Mark 12; the world would be a better place.  This, I do not believe anyone can deny. This is a way out, a way to break these chains of identity that we’ve attached to ourselves.  We are all part of the human race, perfectly and individually made by God to do something specific in this life.  For His purpose, for good, for something way bigger than ourselves.

Today, I will do my part to head in this direction.  A challenge for me, a challenge for you, a challenge for all; but at least right now it seems to me a better plan than doing nothing. My prayer today is this message can inspire just ONE OTHER PERSON to alter their direction. 

Peace and Love…..Tony