Resisting Relapse – Tripod Style


Fresh at Fifty…….. “Life after Rehab”

 Month Four

 Resisting Relapse – Tripod Style
One of the true blessings in my current life is that due to the fact that I work three days a week in Orlando; I get to attend quite a few group nights at Fresh Start Ministries.  As an executive recruiter I have the distinct privilege of working with top executives in the world of financial services on a daily basis.  This is another blessing; but I must say that attending group night to have an opportunity to press into young men struggling with life altering issues fuels me like nothing else.  I’ve always had an affinity to help others; but spending an entire year learning about the recovery process myself has given me an entirely new perspective. I feel God calling me to help; and it’s crystal clear to me that this is part of my life’s purpose.  It fills my heart with joy to make an impact on some of these young men; just to see the hope in their eyes lights me up.  However, the ethos of my message today is really about the other, darker side of recovery; namely relapse. 

Each week that I attend a group session at the ministry; I’m struck in the heart with news that another one of my brothers have fallen. I am in constant awe of the leadership and staff at Fresh Start; because I know this hurts them deeply.  I know this, because I feel it; it hurts me too.  So much so; that after last night’s group message on relapse; I felt completed to write this piece and dedicate it to ALL who struggle with the temptation of relapse.  I pray that those men out there that have left the program have an opportunity to read and ingest this message.  I also pray that the guys in the program NOW get to read it and that it may also impact them in some manner. 
While I was praying about this last night; the Lord put three items on my heart about the levers that need to be pulled in order to avoid a potential relapse.  Therein lies the title of this piece; Tripod Style.  In my view, there are three main focal points of recovery that need to be fulfilled in order to resist the temptation of relapse. 

1 – Your continued and growing faith and your relationship with Christ - I specifically put this one first, because I know from firsthand experience that without a strong focus on my faith; everything else in my life falls apart.  I’ve tried it my own way for many, many years; and it just doesn’t work.  It may “seem” to work for some time; and you can even “look” successful out there in the world.  But it’s fleeting.  I am convinced that The Lord strategically placed me at Fresh Start to grow in relationship with him.  This was the foundation of my recovery and this needs to be the cornerstone of your focus as you work on recovery and as you go back out into the world.  Trust me when I say this; the enemy will be waiting for you around every corner; be prepared; be strong in your faith.  Just this week I was hit with another major financial difficulty.  The “old” me would have fallen back into self-pity; trying to find some mechanism to medicate my pain.  And while I did spend some time in a low place; it was temporary, and my faith in who I am in Christ brought me out. 
2 – Connectedness – One of the foundations of recovery; from AA to NA to GA; and others; is that you MUST stay connected.  However, connectedness; in my humble opinion; needs to be tied to number one above.  In others words, it’s perfectly fine to attend NA and AA meetings, but you also need to be connected to other believers through church, through a small group, through a bible study, or through my personal favorite: group night at Fresh Start. We talked about this last night; the fact that one of the first things that happens to addicts when they are on their way to relapse; is that they isolate.  I see this each week as I set out to reach out to some of my brothers that have graduated the program.  I reach out, and as we stay in the recruiting world; “crickets”.  In other words, they don’t pick up my call and they don’t return my call. 

This is a sure sign that things are not going well.  If I could reach through the phone and grab them; I would. I would tell them that I am not calling to judge them (although I can be frank and tough sometimes); I’m calling to love them and do what I can to ensure they are on the right track.  Heck, I need people doing that for me as well; we all do.  So, staying connected is critical to avoiding relapse.
3 - Relationships – One of the main components of Fresh Start success that I’ve noticed; is that the men who truly take the program seriously develop very strong relationships with other men (including staff) while they are there.  In fact, the guys that I see continuing to do well outside have kept those relationships going; and also stay focused on building new and healthy relationships with other like-minded people.  I’ve been a student of relationship management my entire life; always looking to make new friends; and recovery is no different. I built so many incredible bonds with guys last year; sharing recovery, sharing pain, and sharing HOPE; that was a huge part of my program.  I see many men in the program that seem to struggle with relationships and those are the guys that have a greater chance of going back to what is familiar.  Therefore, step out of your comfort zone and get into relationships.  We were built to be together; to be in community; one body in Christ; especially when we are trying the mend the brokenness of our lives.  Another critical piece to avoiding the dreaded relapse.

My prayer today is that someone will read this and that maybe; just maybe; ONE PERSON can avoid falling back into the abyss.  All three of the items are as important as each other; and if one leg of the Tripod breaks; everything falls.  There is HOPE for all recovering addicts; and that HOPE resides in the power and strength derived from a combination of strong faith and good decision-making.  The good news is that they go hand in hand; and if achieved; you are well on your way to healthy living.

I conclude today with an attachment to a MUST SEE video about an all American athlete; that broke his leg and fell into a deep drug addiction.  As you watch this video; imagine what it would be like to recover like this young man did; and then fall back into addiction.  Imagine how much worse it would be the second time around.  Then contemplate over the fact that if you follow the Tripod method outlined in my piece above; you could potentially avoid this pitfall and continue on with your positive and wonderful recovery. 
Enjoy:


 Peace and Love; Tony

 

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