The PRICE of COOL

The Price of COOL

I was talking with a close friend the other day, and he was concerned about me sharing too much to a widespread audience that includes family members, friends, and business colleagues.  His theory was that from a business perspective, sharing personal thoughts might be risky, a point I have considered and certainly understand.  However, my perspective is that I feel “called” to share, and the feedback I receive (especially from my deepest personal messages) validate the notion that this is what I’m supposed to do.  If there are business opportunities that pass me by as a result, my sense is that it’s not meant to be anyway.  Therefore, I will press on, speak my mind, and follow my path in an attempt to uncover hidden gems that have the potential to inspire.  This piece is no different, a tale of diving deep into your soul to unpack what’s true and real in life.  I hope you enjoy.

This premise of “coolness” has been marinating with me for quite some time, and I awoke last night with a jolt that now is the time to write about it.   This morning, I was also writing a presentation for a client in preparation for a meeting tonight, so my creative juices were already flowing.  For those who know me well, the word “cool” comes out of my mouth often.  I’ve used it frequently for many different reasons and connotations.  Such as:

·      It’s cool

·      That’s way-cool

·      Cool beans (an old favorite)

·      Cool down!

·      Cool man

·      Many more….

Let’s start with what I found in Wikipedia when I looked up COOL:

There is no single concept of cool. One of the essential characteristics of cool is its mutability—what is considered cool changes over time and varies among cultures and generations.

This is a perfect description of COOL for my piece today.  The meaning is mutable, so it’s capable of being changed.  Since COOL is really a slang word anyway, everyone has a different version of what it means.  I love this, because my version has changed and continues to change as my life evolves.  How about you?  What does COOL mean to you?  As you can probably derive from the title, this piece is about what it means to be “cool” from my perspective.  For me, my version of being cool was always so very important to me.  It still is, although today’s meaning is quite different.  You see, in the past being cool flowed in direct proportion to:

·      The car I drove

·      The clothes I wore

·      The accessories (sunglasses, watches, scarfs, and most importantly…SHOES)

·      The house I lived in

·      The job that I had

·      The amount of money I made

·      The golf courses I’ve played

·      Being in Vegas, NYC, Chicago, LA, or any other of the “cool” cities I’ve been to.

It meant controlling the dialog in a conversation, mostly about the items above.  It meant having to be the “life of the party”, always trying to get attention, being the front man in a meeting; ensuring that I got my point across.  It meant taking chances, uncalculated risks, because I COULD and NOTHING was going to happen to me.  How many times do you takes risks just because you get away with it the first time?  How much is enough?  When does it end?  I can remember gambling in Las Vegas, I never felt so COOL.  Sitting at the Black Jack table with thousands of dollars on the line, drinking, telling jokes…. yes…that was COOL. You see taking chances and getting away with it produces a tremendous amount of adrenaline, especially for men.  I’m sure woman feel it as well, but my perspective on this matter is clear and vivid, even as I write this piece.  I was there, this was I who I was, and being “COOL” was all I cared about.  I wrote about this notion in my book, and the fact that I somehow developed a ridicules connection with the Italian Mafia.  The feeling of invincibility and coolness was so powerful; I developed an insatiable appetite for power, while on the surface pretending to be something else. 

Well, to answer the question about when it ends, the answer is that EVERYTHING ends; sooner or later.  Even if your stuck in the COOL zone your entire life, eventually your life will end and you will be left with the inevitable “what happens to me now?” question we ALL will face.  You see the PRICE of cool will catch up to you, in this life or the next.  The decisions you make and the paths you choose result in where you end up, there is no doubt.  The question is when will you realize the error of your ways? 

When will you come to grips with the “inauthenticity” of your life?  Will it end for you in a conscious state where you can still doing something about it?  Or will it end in an unconscious state, when it’s too late…and you can’t do anything about it.  One thing is for sure; there WILL be a price.  Remember, YOU decide on how high the price will be.  It’s been HIGH for me, but I’m heading in the right direction…a NEW direction.  Something to ponder as we head into this New Year, 2013.   Will this be the year where I identify with what “cool” means to me?  Will this be the year that I stop pretending and be the man (woman) God made me to be?  Interesting thoughts, right?

For me, COOL means something else these days.  Cool means:

·      Trusting in God

·      Being a father to my children

·      Trying to stay positive while I chip away (slowly) as I pay my PRICE

·      Becoming comfortable being with myself

·      Realizing that, with God, I am enough and I have the strength

·      Following my path, writing pieces like this, trying to inspire others

·      Praying for grace, health, strength, and discernment

·      Driving a mini-van (yes, I do!!)

·      Coaching my son’s football team

·      Staying connected to my friends

·      Trying to reconnect with family members

·      Trying to get healthy

·      Trying to regain my financial footing, by doing anything possible and TRUSTING the process

·      Living in the moment, staying unattached to OUTCOME

Although my life is certainly not back on track (is it ever?), one of the things that help me stay the course these days is that the items that are important to me are more in line with who I was meant to be.  It’s my view, that God makes us all for a specific purpose, and it's up to us to figure it out and connect the dots, so the speak.  A quote from my book gives clarity to this view:

“From the beginning of time there has been a predestined purpose for every single human being who has entered this world.  Our first challenge is to have faith and to believe that this is true. Our second challenge is to find the right path that connects us to that purpose, and to be steadfast and strong while we stay on that path.  And our third and final challenge is to never forget the first two.”  -TC

Changing my definition for cool is not only appropriate (there’s no real meaning anyway), it is imperative to growth.  I now feel purposeful about what COOL means and today that makes me feel good.  In an attempt to capture the message here, I will conclude (which is becoming somewhat of a trademark) with another attempt at poetry.  Not perfect, but it’s the effort that counts…. right??

The Price of Cool

As I’ve grown and matured my thoughts have changed;

About what it means to be COOL, I use to be deranged

Mesmerized really, thinking it was all about me;

But I paid a PRICE, even though it took forever to see

How my choices affected my life and the one’s I love;

And I was alone, desperate, on the floor, looking above

For life’s answers, life’s meaning, and what I was to do;

With no correlation to my car, my house, and my shoes

Because life is about who you are not what you own;

Although it’s hard to realize how the seeds will be sown

By our maker, the ONLY one who knows;

Our place in the world, if we look hard enough he will show

Us... our path, our purpose, and why we are here;

So we can redefine what COOL means, before it’s too severe

Of a penalty to PAY, we can not escape:

The consequences of our actions, because we don’t have a cape

We can’t fly, we are not invincible, and soon we will see;

And have a better chance at redemption, to eat fruit off the tree

In the end, we will return to the shallow end of the pool;

And our lives will come full circle from OUR version of COOL

Peace…Tony