Mom

It’s my mom’s birthday today, and as I sit here in my office forging my way through the day, I thought I would take some time and write to her and about her. Since she doesn’t have Facebook and is rarely on the computer, I think I will call her later and read this to her. I’m sure she will like that, I know I will. As I started thinking deeper about my mother’s birthday this morning, it dawned upon me that as time goes by it gets harder and harder to carve out the time to purposefully correspond with our loved ones. How many birthdays go by where we really take the opportunity to tell someone how special they are to us? How often do we take ourselves out of our comfort zone, and take the time to share part of ourselves with people important in our lives? For me, I try and do it as often as I can as part of my back nine self-improvement. I hope as you read through this piece and start pondering this for yourself, something will ignite and this spark will burn brighter and eventually transfer positive energy to someone who has made a significant impact on your life.

Certainly, my mom has done that for me. She has already lived a long life, and like most people has seen her share of happiness, joy, hardship, and pain. My wish for her today is that her thoughts align with the happy moments of her life, and the moments still to come. My mom often says that the happiest times in her life were when her children were young, taking care of us, nurturing us, and raising us the best she knew how. As a father now, I can relate. I sometimes think about when my kids were babies, and how much I loved those days, cuddling with them, playing with them, and watching them grow. There are so many things that I wish I could have done differently, but staying consistent with my theme for mom today, I will try and just stay focused on the positive parts and remember all of the good times. My mom lights up when she talks about those years, and what I want most for her on this day is to remind her that her legacy is being fulfilled. She raised four great children, and we all love her dearly. Showing her that love is sometimes difficult due the geography, time, and other factors. However, I truly believe that deep down inside, my mom knows how much she is loved. On a side note, I would like to give a huge “shout out of LOVE” to my sister Mary and her husband Ed. You see, my parents live in a house attached to their property, and although I realize how difficult that is for them at times, I sure appreciate the fact that they are there, close to my parents at this stage of their life.

Raising children on Long Island (NY) was, I am sure, a great experience for my mom. Things were simple, our neighborhoods were safe, and my mom cherished her role as a mother and a homemaker. I sometimes wish (then and now) that my mom looked out for herself more; by I am certainly a proud beneficiary of the unconditional love and support she has shown me over the years. Now that I spend much of my time coaching others, I always try and foster dialog with my mom about looking out for herself, reminder her that it’s never too late. But, as many of you can relate, her stance is that she is “my mother” and therefore she should be the one giving advice. For the record mom, even though you don’t think I ever take your advice, I have my whole life, and you will forever have a lasting imprint on me.

A few years ago, while I was going through one of the most difficult portions of my life, my mother was so unbelievably loving and supportive of me, I can’t begin to tell her how much I appreciated that. My dedication to her in my book, My Back Nine, says it all:

“To my parents, Nick and Barbara Caico, who have been there for me my entire life…especially YOU MOM. Your trust, confidence, unconditional love, and belief in me have always been there regardless of the circumstances”

Every time my mom calls I have a sense of responsibility that creeps in and fills me. It’s interesting, because I used to think it was guilt, and perhaps on many occasions it was (and still is). We all have those moments where we neglect to honor our parents, and I am no exception. But these days, I do my best to stay positive, loving, and respectful of what my mom wants to talk about. And boy can she talk!! My mom can go on and on about any subject and virtually have a conversation with anyone she meets. She has an incredible sense of humor, is extremely sharp and witty, and her personality has always been a crowd favorite. My friends used to say, “Your mom is hilarious”, and she was and that has always made me proud. I have so many great character traits from my mom; it’s impossible for me to identify with who I am without knowing that Barbara Jane Caico is my mother.

I have great love for you mom, today on your birthday and always…in this life and the next. So much so, I decided to take another crack at poetry. This one’s for you:


Yes, I am like my mom

It was my first communion and there was nobody there
But it didn’t matter because you choose to care
For a son who was wide eyed, focused and excited
To experience life, music, sports, school, and hoped to be invited
To his own life, from the start and so full of hope
With a mother always there, connected to an invisible rope
That was there when it all started, a lifeline, a chord
A bond that has endured, through ups and downs, and always with a word
Of encouragement, support, faith in me, and unwavering love
In God, her family, her beliefs, all provided from above
From her maker who she spends so much time with
Which is where she gets all her strength, and there’s no myth
That could ever tell a better story of a mother and a son
Who are attached through thick and thin, I am thankful I am the one
That has been woven from your fabric, and yes, I’m alot like my mother
And as long as I live, I swear, there will never be another
Who will have affected my life so deeply, I wish I said it more
I adore you mom, I really do, from deep in my core
I will love you forever, and I’m not ashamed to say
You are the best mom in the world, and even though I stray
You are always in my heart, and will always be
And these words are for you, directly from me