The Ladder of Life

Well, it's been a few months since my last piece. For those of you who have followed my writing over the last several years, my sincere gratitude. I embarked upon this writing journey about five years ago, and it’s my desire to continue to get better in an attempt to help myself through life as well as help others who may be experiencing similar challenges. What I have found is that it has also become an escape for me, and more importantly an opportunity for me to replace some of my prior bad habits with good habits that add value to my life and the lives of others. To set the stage for this topic, I am going to start with a reoccurring personal flaw, follow that up with a recent and timely remedy I've used to help me through the process of overcoming some current objections, and ultimately put it bow around it as I circle back to the meaning and intent of this piece. After all, as the great Socrates once said;

"The stone doesn't get polished without friction, nor the man perfected without trials"


The flaw for me this time has a familiar tone, my ego that is, and how this connects to my writing, my relationships, and other aspects of my life. By the way, for those of you who have not tried this process, meaning writing down your flaws as well as how you plan on improving, you should try it...it is truly liberating. I had lunch with an old friend yesterday, and when my writing came up, I started grilling her on weather or not she read my book as well as my last blog. You see, remnants of my former enormous ego still linger and quite often I ask people when I see them if they have read my book, my last piece, blah.... blah.... blah. Really Tony? Anyway, that didn't make me feel very good about myself, and coupled with some other recent challenges, I started to pontificate on the matter. I started to wonder, as I am sure many of you do, if I do things just do get a reaction from others. You see; I have many great people in my life and I have always enjoyed the relational engagement that comes from discussing a difficult topic; especially if it's something that I have stirred up through my writing. There goes my ego again, having expectations of what someone else will do based on my actions, opinions, and need for attention. I have worked tirelessly on my ego over the last several years. For those of you who know me well, you can attest to that.

However, what I have realized is that this is lifelong battle, a lifelong test, and these lessons of challenges and improvements in life is what this piece is all about. This same premise holds true in almost all aspects of our lives, and the sooner we realize this, the better off we will be. Rather than beat myself up (another old bad habit), I started to put a realistic and positive spin on the situation. Whether it’s your ego, your finances, your relationships, your career, or any other aspect of your life; insecurity will rear its ugly head in times like this and you are again forced into the difficult task of trying to reconcile with the mirror. But don't fret, this is quite normal and everyone goes through it in one way or another. How you deal with it and what you do about it once you are aware, now that is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. You see; it's the process of life, the challenges in life, and the Ladder of Life that is important. In my view, one of the fundamental components of a happy and fulfilling life is the understanding that your happiness, your success, and your comfort comes in the realization that the climb or journey in life is what its all about. Once you figure that out, then you are able to deal with just about anything life throws at you.

How do I know? Well, my life is no different from yours in the aggregate. I don't consider myself special in any way compared to others, but I do spend quite a bit of time diving deep into my brain, spirit, and soul to try and identify with why things happen in my life and what I can do to actually make things better. Like many of you fine folks out there, I have been challenged greatly over the last several years, so much so that it's very difficult to just imagine myself on the Ladder. At times, I just want to jump off and head back to the place where my former bad habits reside. But it doesn't take me long to realize that it's just part of life, and I take back my proper rung and continue my climb.

I was inspired to write this piece by several things; a few incidents that happened over the last few days, and something I witnessed in my neighborhood as a bystander. The first involved some personal challenges in my life that do not seem to be improving, regardless of what I do. Three items in particular that I have tried so hard to overcome, yet seem unable to make marketed progress. Sound familiar? The second was seeing one of my neighbors climbing a Ladder in an attempt to repair a window on his second floor. All of the sudden it hit me, the Ladder is the secret. When you think of a Ladder, there is a bottom, a top, two sides, and many rungs strategically placed for you to climb in order to get to your destination. While I watched my neighbor (I don't even know him, I should change that) on the Ladder, it dawned on me right then and there that this was a really important event, and somehow I was able to make the connection to my other challenges and tie them together. He was actually only half way up the Ladder (sound familiar), and was fixing something on his window. He had no intention of climbing to the top; he was just focused on the task of repairing the window.

The lesson for me was that one of the most critical functions in life appears to be the ability to stay completely focused on one a task at a time without any attachment to the outcome. This is one of the true fundamental philosophies of the eastern world and something that we all seem to forget quite often. Just yesterday I was dealing with a situation with one of my children (one of the three items mentioned above), and had a very difficult time staying focused on the task. My mind kept drifting to a number of unrelated events regarding the past and the future, trying to place blame and identify with why this was happening. This is quite common, right? But I soon realized that once I lost my focus on the present, I immediately got frustrated, unfocused, angry, and in turn unable to deal with the situation properly. Imagine if we could all harness the power of staying alert and aware of the Ladder Rung that is right in front of us? To come to the realization that where we are, right here, right now, is ALL that matters. Wouldn't we be better off? Wouldn't we be able to get along better with each other, and get things done with greater efficiency and clarity?

WOW. What a fantastic goal to try and achieve. A lofty goal, yes, but nevertheless a worthwhile endeavor. Would you agree? Would you also agree that if we just could understand that one of our fundamental goals in life is to focus on each moment, each rung of the Ladder, and it's that functionality that ultimately makes up our own individual Ladders of Life. All we have to do is concentrate on one rung at a time, one moment at a time, one task at a time. Go ahead, take a moment and imagine looking at yourself on that Ladder. I am reminded of a trick I learned from reading The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, that talked about the premonition that you could actually go outside yourself and watch yourself as you completed a task. When I look at myself on the Ladder, I can see clearly that I need to stay focused on my footing, my balance, and the task at hand that needs to be completed. Another great thing about the Ladder is that once you get to a certain height, you need someone to hold the bottom, right? So the notion here is NOT that you need to tackle things on your own. It is YOUR Ladder, but when you need to get to a higher rung, you need to rely on others to reach a higher point. You need to rely on God (or your place for spiritual strength). In the end, you don't need to climb alone; you should rely on others to help you in all difficult situations. However, you do need to realize that your ultimate happiness depends on your own ability to at least understand that life resides on the Ladder, climbing and holding on to each rung at a time, completing each mission with determination and clarity, until another task comes along. Don't focus on the bottom, don't focus on the top, stay aware of each side, keep your hands and feet steady, and stay totally focused on what is right in front of you. Peace to ALL.......Tony