Changes

In David Bowie’s classic tune, Changes, the song’s ending leaves you with a very contemplative few lines. “Time may change me, but I can’t trace time.” We quite often hear the advice these days to stay in the present moment, because you can’t do anything about the past and you certainly can’t control the future. Now, trust me, these are certainly words to live by, but it’s important to keep the blinders off as well. What do I mean? Well, even though it’s critical to live in the present moment, it’s important to constantly utilize reference points from our past in order to maintain a healthy present and more secure future. After all, it’s the experiences of life that provide us with the fuel that, when lit, ignites our source of wisdom, and ultimately paves the way for all we are and all we do. When I dissect the last line of Bowie’s incredible song, I quickly realize that time does quite often change us as we sail through life. We learn more, we see more, and ultimately make our most important life decisions, especially as we mature. More often than not, we change along the way, mostly for the better, because we realize that we may have just taken the wrong path. So, the first line of the end of the song is fairly easy to ascertain meaning from, it’s the last few words that are a bit more puzzling. Its funny, because until just a few minutes ago, I just sang the song like everyone else, enjoyed the moment, and never really stopped to think about its meaning. “I can’t trace time?” What could that possibly mean? In Webster’s, trace is defined as:

A visible mark, such as a footprint, made or left by the passage of a person, animal, or thing

Well, as I thought more about it, it dawned on me that although time will certainly change us, we really can’t go back to the same moment in time that caused the changes. That is what Bowie is saying. All the more reason to remain in the present, while at the same time staying alert and mindful to change when it occurs, staying cognizant of what caused it, and how it has ended up affecting your life and the lives of those around you. More importantly, what new changes will you make as a result of what you learned about yourself. Like I said, contemplative for sure, and as you dissect all the lyrics (I’ll add them to the bottom of this blog) of this great song, the theme that resonates has everything to do with how each one of us is not only affected by change, but how we deal with it, and how we each use it to actually improve our lives.

As is typical of my call to write, I had some interesting experiences over the last few weeks that have caused me to ponder, reflect, marinate, and ultimately cook up these words. I recently took a long trip back to New York and spent some quality time with a ton of close friends. My trip took me to NJ, NYC for a few days, and then out to Long Island for my 30 year High School Reunion. Could I possibly be that old? Yes, 48 for anyone who is counting. I had lunch in NYC with my oldest friend I can remember. With the assistance of Facebook, I was able to reconnect with my childhood friend from 35 years ago. Yes, we have both changed quite a bit, but seeing him made me realize that living a contemplative, reflective, and memorable life has everything you do with the people you touch along the way. Something that lies at the core of my thinking, my life, and something that I can’t wait to teach my five children as they grow. We actually spent time talking about that very topic, about change, and about what is truly important in life. It was great to see that even though we had not seen each other for many years, we both sort of ended up in the same place with our views on life. Very cool...right? I also spent some time with many high school friends at the reunion, and although it was brief, we all enjoyed our time together reminiscing, catching up on each other’s lives, and sharing many laughs. I even had a few days with my dear friends from college, playing golf, going to dinner, and of course, laughing our asses off. Isn’t it funny how the stories always get better as we get older? As I plotted through the week, I was reflecting on all of the changes I went through back in those days, and how they have made me the man I am today. But mostly, it was the people that I enjoyed, something that resonates throughout my life.

On the topic of change, contemplation, and reflection...I can say that there was one moment that touched me deeper than all of the others during my trip. After I had lunch with my elementary school pal, I had some time to kill in NYC before dinner plans with another close friend. I have always wanted to go to Ellis Island to see my Grandparents names on the Wall of Immigrants, so I jumped on the ferry and off I went. What I witnessed was a feeling that gripped me so tightly, I stayed for over two hours to soak it all in. You see, my Grandparents, Anthony Caico and Josephine Inglese Caico, came over in the early 1900’s from Palermo, Italy. Seeing their names (especially MY NAME…as I was named after my Grandfather) was just flat out cool. I posted it to Facebook for those who care to take a peek. By the way, if we are not Facebook, LinkedIN, or e-mail friends, let’s do something about that. Anyway, it was the highlight of my trip, and I would highly recommend that each of you make the trip to Ellis Island, even if you didn’t have ancestors that came through, it’s an awesome place. I can’t wait to take my kids there someday. The difficulty that they endured so we could all have more opportunity is awe inspiring to say the least. Just think of the sacrifices and “changes” they had to make. Quite often, those changes lead to opportunities in disguise. For them, it was a future that was better than the past and even the present, which inspired them to leave the status quo behind. I am very honored and proud that my grandparents embraced true “kaizen” (a commitment to continuous improvement) in the face of adversity. If they didn’t I wouldn't be writing this, and you wouldn’t be reading it.

In the end, change is definitely not something we should resist, fear, or shy away from. Let’s face it; it’s inevitable in our careers, our lives, and in our every day experiences. If we embrace change, we can each learn much more about who we are, what we can do, and we can grow and actually gain a great deal of confidence through the changes we endure. We can either master change or it will master us. How many people do you know that react very negatively to change? You know who I mean, and you do not want to be one of those people. Like David Bowie says, “Turn and face the strain”...but by all means...walk away from the mirror with a positive outlook, a game plan, then go out and execute. Your life will improve as a result. Guaranteed. I’ll leave you with the awesome lyrics to Changes. Peace...Tony



Changes
David Bowie

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time