The Journey Within

As usual, the writing of this post comes to me on the heels of an inspiring message. A deep and meaningful message that usually starts in my mid-section, marinates a bit as it rises up through my chest and throat, and eventually finds it's resting place in my brain. Perhaps my brain size is smaller than some, because I inevitably need to release this matter from my brain; as it shoots down my arm, into my hands and fingers, and ultimately makes it way to my PC. The words I am writing have been in me for some time, but I have suffered from a serious mental block over the last several months. You know how it goes; life just always seems to get in the way. A new job, constant financial pressures accompanied by a bad economy, an over-whelming new travel schedule, another move (yes…..again), 5 children, etc...always seem to take center stage and the all important personal growth comes to a halt. Well, maybe it doesn’t, but it sure feels like that at times. This piece is bringing it back for me, and I hope it does something similar for each of you.

One of the more positive and enjoyable aspects of traveling again is that I seem to have more time to read. Something about being in an airport, or on an airplane that heightens my senses and renews my quest for knowledge and learning. I have learned to cherish this time, and it has recently led me to some new and exciting reading. Although, I usually have to force myself to read non-fiction, I just got through the first two Stieg Larsson books, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and The Girl who played with Fire. I must say, these are well written and very entertaining, and I am anxious to read the third story in the trilogy, The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.

However, the recent jolt of inspiration came to me after reading a Herman Hess novel, entitled, Narcissus and Goldmund. It was a great read, very detailed and poignant, and the life message in the story provided me with the combination I needed to unlock my recent blockage. Don’t worry, this is not a book review, but let’s just say this book does an excellent job outlining the story of life, or the search to find oneself. In my view, “the journey within” is an adventure that lasts a lifetime, and one that I’m quite sure not everyone takes as seriously as they probably should. Heck, I didn’t even take it seriously until just a few years ago, and it has become a focal point of my life’s mission. Like I said, things get in the way, and we all lose focus as it pertains to the inner meaning of life, and how we each fit into this enormous puzzle piece. Not to mention that this is really hard work. It takes time, focus, knowledge, contemplation, study, a strong desire, and constant “mirror checks” to tackle this topic.

That being said, I’m quite certain that every human being at some point in their life questions the reason for their existence. Why was I born? What am I doing here? What is my purpose? What is my true path? What am I supposed to believe? Who shall I listen to? Who am I…really? Who am I supposed to be? The questions are endless, but all valid and purposeful questions to ask. You see, many people either stop asking these questions, or never really search hard enough for the right answers. Even worse, many of us are taught certain things at an early age, and never take the necessary time to find out for ourselves whether or not they are true and authentic for our own lives. In this great Hermann Hesse (of Siddhartha fame) story, Goldmund is sent to a cloister for monks, where it is his father’s wish that he learns the ways of the monks, lives a sheltered and spiritual life, and basically spends the rest of his life there. When his mentor and teacher Narcissus discovers the true essence of the boy, against better judgment of his peers and the cloister, he encourages Goldmund to go out into the world to find his own way. His journey is an exciting and fantastic one, as he deals with life on the road, experiencing everything life has to offer, and constantly searching for his true and authentic purpose. Eventually, he ends up back at the cloister, not to become a monk, but as an incredibly gifted artist that brings his vision and experiences to life in a fantastic array of artwork to be admired and cherished for all time.

You see, every person is unique, and there is a plan, already somehow predetermined (I believe) for every single one of us. Our individual quest then is to find out what that plan is, and what paths we need to choose in an attempt to execute that plan. In order to do that, we must first identify with who we are. Our “reason” for our existence, which kind of says it all. What an interesting and fantastic topic to talk about, to study, and to ponder as we take our journey inward. After all, our desire to learn more about ourselves is woven into the fabric of our beings from birth. We are all born with that curiosity to want to explore and investigate, but somewhere along the way we start to ignore our inner self. We doubt our beliefs, we listen to others, we lose our way, and ultimately our grasp on our inward search. Our focus seems to shifts towards: who we think we should be, who we are told to be, who others want us to be, and we start taking pieces from other people we know in an attempt to fill our gaps. However, what many of end up with is all tiles and no grout. What is the grout? The thing that ties it all together for us, my friends, our spiritual being that can only be found through a thorough investigation of ourselves. Our one true and authentic self. The character is the great story by Steen Pressfield, Bagger Vance said it best:

“Inside each and every one of us is our one, true authentic swing. Something we were born with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be learned... something that's got to be remembered”

Pressfield uses this golf premise as a metaphor for our journey inward or our search for one true and authentic self. I also use this quite often in my book, My Back Nine, as I find the connection between golf and life a fascinating topic.

One of our ultimate goals in life is to keep searching for those sometimes hidden caverns that can potentially lead us to the right path. Sure, we will take the wrong path at times, but that’s all part of the journey, part of our dangerous and exciting search within. My hope is that each and every one of you reading this message never loses sight of this search. For those of you who have, well then my goal is that you will rekindle those flames to find more meaning in your life. Lastly, for those of you (like me) with children, what invaluable lessons you can teach. Yes, it will not resonate with many children at a young age, but they will remember, and when it’s time for them to draw upon this ultimate search for themselves later in life, the spark will be that much easier to ignite!!

“From the beginning of time there has been a predestined purpose for every single human being who has entered this world. Our first challenge is to have faith and to believe that this is true. Our second challenge is to find the right path that connects us to that purpose, and to be steadfast and strong while we stay on that path. And our third and final challenge is to never forget the first two.” —Tony Caico