Adversity
“What doesn’t kill us….makes us stronger” What do you think? Is there truth in this statement, or do people just say it to keep others motivated in troubled times? Well, after reading about some recent suicides in the financial services sector today, I started thinking deeply about this topic. You see, for those of us who are actually in the financial services industry, these tragic stories hit very close to home. The last few years have been very challenging to say the least in this business sector….specifically in the mortgage banking space. The recent recession has certainly taken its toll, and its tentacles reach far and wide. I was reading an article yesterday about some of the more high-profile suicides, all from the financial services industry:
David Kellerman: The Freddie Mac acting chief financial officer was found hanging in his basement on April 22. It has been speculated that the stress of the failing mortgage giant was the reason.
René-Thierry Magon de La Villehuchet: The head of a French investment company — and major investor with Bernie Madoff — took his life at his desk in New York in December.
Adolf Merckle: This German industrialist, who in 2007 was ranked Forbes' 44th richest man, threw himself in front of a train in January. In 2008, he dropped dramatically on the Forbes list.
Patrick Rocca: The so-called poster boy of Ireland's Celtic Tiger shot himself in the head in January. In 2007, his fortune topped an estimated $647 million.
These are all very tragic stories, and my heart goes out to the families of these individuals. The article really got me thinking about the adversity we each face in our own lives. Adversity is something we all deal with on a daily basis, but the extent varies from person to person. Not only does the extent vary, but our corresponding reaction (and actions) to adversity vary. Our reactions either set us on a course to recovery, or set the table for more pain and suffering. Sort of like the old saying,
“10 percent of life is what happens to you, and 90% of life is how you react to it”
I started wondering about what was going through their minds at the very moment that they choose to take their own lives. I’m fairly certain that I can’t compare myself with some of these financial giants, and I have never once thought about taking my own life, but in some fashion I can relate to the stress they must have felt. I can relate because I am a recent casualty of the mortgage banking meltdown. I can relate because I still have conversations, every day, with friends and colleagues from this industry. Conversations that include reminiscing, consult, and strategy as many of us attempt to dig our way out of our respective holes. I am fortunate to have a very supportive family and some great friends to talk to that have helped me through my troubled times. Perhaps these men above weren’t so fortunate. Troubled times that continue for many, certainly for me. I just got laid off last week for the second time in two years. Yep….that’s right. I have been working a full time job since I was 15 years old (that’s 31 years if your counting), and I can only remember getting laid off once before.
Usually something inspires me to write, and today is no different. The combination of these tragic stories and the book I am currently reading arrived at an interesting intersection yesterday. I have been reading from Rick Warren’s, “A Purpose Driven Life”. I am thoroughly enjoying reading this book and it already seems to be sharpening my spiritual focus. Basically, the book has 40 chapters and Mr. Warren takes you on a 40 day journey in an attempt to answer the question “Why am I on this earth?” A friend of mine who has read this book suggested that I read the entire book right through, instead of reading one chapter per day. However, I made the decision to listen to the author’s advice and read one chapter per day. I have just “rediscovered” my faith….so to speak….so focusing on the fundamentals is a good place for me to be right now. Just this morning I was reading in the chapter “Life is a Temporary Assignment”. The basic premise here is that we are on this earth for a very short time, and our time on earth is basically made up of a series of “tests” and will be filled with adversity in preparation for eternity. Our ability to navigate our way though this adversity determines our next assignment. After I read this chapter yesterday morning, I opened up my PC and read the article about the suicides. I started contemplating on the correlation between these two complete opposite ends of the spectrum. The reminder of how precious and short life is, and the stark reality of suicide. I have no way of telling what went through the minds of these individuals, but one can assume that they may not have believed that life was a temporary assignment in preparation for the next life. Perhaps they did believe that were being tested….they believed that they failed….and that there was no other way out.
It’s very typical for us to think about our own lives and our own situations when we read stories like this. Well, I am no different….and my thoughts immediately drew inward as I tried to come to grips with all of the trials and tribulations in my own life these last few years. It’s been quite a period of adversity for me, and I’m not sure it’s over yet. In the last several years, my marriage fell apart, I lost my job (well…now 2 jobs), I lost my home, had my car repossessed, collected unemployment for the first time in my life, went through a period of heavy drinking and depression, and had to move 4 times for financial reasons. I am currently live in my sister’s house (thank God for that), driving a car that my parents helped me get (ditto), and I’m still clawing my way out of the entire mess.
Why do I tell you this? Mostly, because how I feel today…..which is happy and grateful in spite of my circumstances. I feel very confident and fortunate that I am weathering the storm with my head held high. Also, throughout this difficult time in my life, I have become more aware and sensitive to the problems of other people in my life. I have a few very close friends that have lost love one’s throughout this time (I have not). I have friends that have very serious health problems with either themselves or family members (I do not). My 5 incredible children are very healthy and happy. My relationships are strong and getting stronger. My personal health is excellent and improving every day. My spiritual focus has been renewed.
You must remember, although your problems seem very large to you, it’s always helpful to put them into perspective. Yes, I am still going through some adversity, but I absolutely believe that these series of “tests” are making me stronger. I feel like it’s all building up to something fantastic on the other side. Whether it’s in this life or the next, somewhere down the line things will be great for me. Just this week I started a new business and have a final interview for a fantastic new job (fingers crossed). You see, things are looking up already. Going through this adversity has not only made me stronger, but better, closer to God, more authentic, more humble, more creative, more sensitive, and a much better father.
It’s really hard for me to say that I wish that everyone could experience some serious adversity in order to make them stronger. That’s not really true for all people. What I can say is what I know to be true for me. This is the fact that I now know that this is the exact path that I was meant to be on all along. I was meant to be tested like this. I was supposed to lose all of the things that I lost. Perhaps due to the fact that I had failed some previous tests. Not quite sure about that one and I don’t spend much time thinking about the past anymore. My focus is on my faith, my children, my health, and my ultimate comeback. My focus is on the present, understanding that adversity is sure to come my way, and preparing myself to deal with it better each time.
How about you? What is your test? What adversity are you going through? I know it’s something. How are you handling your adversity? We should keep reminding ourselves that our time on this earth is brief, and our problems…..although insurmountable at times…..are all problems we can handle. Ultimately, it was all suppose to happen just the way it happened.
Which path will you take in reaction to adversity?
David Kellerman: The Freddie Mac acting chief financial officer was found hanging in his basement on April 22. It has been speculated that the stress of the failing mortgage giant was the reason.
René-Thierry Magon de La Villehuchet: The head of a French investment company — and major investor with Bernie Madoff — took his life at his desk in New York in December.
Adolf Merckle: This German industrialist, who in 2007 was ranked Forbes' 44th richest man, threw himself in front of a train in January. In 2008, he dropped dramatically on the Forbes list.
Patrick Rocca: The so-called poster boy of Ireland's Celtic Tiger shot himself in the head in January. In 2007, his fortune topped an estimated $647 million.
These are all very tragic stories, and my heart goes out to the families of these individuals. The article really got me thinking about the adversity we each face in our own lives. Adversity is something we all deal with on a daily basis, but the extent varies from person to person. Not only does the extent vary, but our corresponding reaction (and actions) to adversity vary. Our reactions either set us on a course to recovery, or set the table for more pain and suffering. Sort of like the old saying,
“10 percent of life is what happens to you, and 90% of life is how you react to it”
I started wondering about what was going through their minds at the very moment that they choose to take their own lives. I’m fairly certain that I can’t compare myself with some of these financial giants, and I have never once thought about taking my own life, but in some fashion I can relate to the stress they must have felt. I can relate because I am a recent casualty of the mortgage banking meltdown. I can relate because I still have conversations, every day, with friends and colleagues from this industry. Conversations that include reminiscing, consult, and strategy as many of us attempt to dig our way out of our respective holes. I am fortunate to have a very supportive family and some great friends to talk to that have helped me through my troubled times. Perhaps these men above weren’t so fortunate. Troubled times that continue for many, certainly for me. I just got laid off last week for the second time in two years. Yep….that’s right. I have been working a full time job since I was 15 years old (that’s 31 years if your counting), and I can only remember getting laid off once before.
Usually something inspires me to write, and today is no different. The combination of these tragic stories and the book I am currently reading arrived at an interesting intersection yesterday. I have been reading from Rick Warren’s, “A Purpose Driven Life”. I am thoroughly enjoying reading this book and it already seems to be sharpening my spiritual focus. Basically, the book has 40 chapters and Mr. Warren takes you on a 40 day journey in an attempt to answer the question “Why am I on this earth?” A friend of mine who has read this book suggested that I read the entire book right through, instead of reading one chapter per day. However, I made the decision to listen to the author’s advice and read one chapter per day. I have just “rediscovered” my faith….so to speak….so focusing on the fundamentals is a good place for me to be right now. Just this morning I was reading in the chapter “Life is a Temporary Assignment”. The basic premise here is that we are on this earth for a very short time, and our time on earth is basically made up of a series of “tests” and will be filled with adversity in preparation for eternity. Our ability to navigate our way though this adversity determines our next assignment. After I read this chapter yesterday morning, I opened up my PC and read the article about the suicides. I started contemplating on the correlation between these two complete opposite ends of the spectrum. The reminder of how precious and short life is, and the stark reality of suicide. I have no way of telling what went through the minds of these individuals, but one can assume that they may not have believed that life was a temporary assignment in preparation for the next life. Perhaps they did believe that were being tested….they believed that they failed….and that there was no other way out.
It’s very typical for us to think about our own lives and our own situations when we read stories like this. Well, I am no different….and my thoughts immediately drew inward as I tried to come to grips with all of the trials and tribulations in my own life these last few years. It’s been quite a period of adversity for me, and I’m not sure it’s over yet. In the last several years, my marriage fell apart, I lost my job (well…now 2 jobs), I lost my home, had my car repossessed, collected unemployment for the first time in my life, went through a period of heavy drinking and depression, and had to move 4 times for financial reasons. I am currently live in my sister’s house (thank God for that), driving a car that my parents helped me get (ditto), and I’m still clawing my way out of the entire mess.
Why do I tell you this? Mostly, because how I feel today…..which is happy and grateful in spite of my circumstances. I feel very confident and fortunate that I am weathering the storm with my head held high. Also, throughout this difficult time in my life, I have become more aware and sensitive to the problems of other people in my life. I have a few very close friends that have lost love one’s throughout this time (I have not). I have friends that have very serious health problems with either themselves or family members (I do not). My 5 incredible children are very healthy and happy. My relationships are strong and getting stronger. My personal health is excellent and improving every day. My spiritual focus has been renewed.
You must remember, although your problems seem very large to you, it’s always helpful to put them into perspective. Yes, I am still going through some adversity, but I absolutely believe that these series of “tests” are making me stronger. I feel like it’s all building up to something fantastic on the other side. Whether it’s in this life or the next, somewhere down the line things will be great for me. Just this week I started a new business and have a final interview for a fantastic new job (fingers crossed). You see, things are looking up already. Going through this adversity has not only made me stronger, but better, closer to God, more authentic, more humble, more creative, more sensitive, and a much better father.
It’s really hard for me to say that I wish that everyone could experience some serious adversity in order to make them stronger. That’s not really true for all people. What I can say is what I know to be true for me. This is the fact that I now know that this is the exact path that I was meant to be on all along. I was meant to be tested like this. I was supposed to lose all of the things that I lost. Perhaps due to the fact that I had failed some previous tests. Not quite sure about that one and I don’t spend much time thinking about the past anymore. My focus is on my faith, my children, my health, and my ultimate comeback. My focus is on the present, understanding that adversity is sure to come my way, and preparing myself to deal with it better each time.
How about you? What is your test? What adversity are you going through? I know it’s something. How are you handling your adversity? We should keep reminding ourselves that our time on this earth is brief, and our problems…..although insurmountable at times…..are all problems we can handle. Ultimately, it was all suppose to happen just the way it happened.
Which path will you take in reaction to adversity?
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