Connected Souls
Last evening I attended a business dinner with some
colleagues and customers in Amelia Island, FL.
It was an enjoyable dinner, the food was great and I truly love meeting
and connecting with people I’ve not met before.
Deep inside I am a very social person, but also have a tendency to
isolate; and I’m constantly rewarded when I step out and attend one of these
events. Something very interesting happened
to me as I was listening to the multiple conversations that were going around
the dinner table. I noticed that
everyone in attendance was either married or coupled up with another person. There was even one customer who brought along
his wife, which I have always thought was a good idea when the invitation
allows for it. There was only one
exception to the folks that were coupled up, and that was me. On my drive home I was contemplating this
notion very deeply, and started running many scenarios through my mind that
will most likely end up on this sheet of paper today. I have a feeling that what I will share about
this topic will have meaning to both folks those coupled up and those not
coupled up. Those who are connected to
another soul and those who are still in search of that lifelong and sometimes
far reaching connection to another. Unfortunately,
I fall into the latter category. How
about you?
Connected Souls
Hearing from God is
difficult for me, I’m not one who hears directly, but indirectly; so I sat and
waited
This has always been a very confusing topic for me, and for
so many different reasons, I have not been able to either find (or hold onto) my life partner. When I wrote my first book (My Back Nine) several years ago, I
dedicated an entire chapter in the book to relationships. I have always felt that I was really good at relationships,
but never with women; mostly because of my own fears, mistakes, lack of
self-esteem, and sinful desires. It’s
funny, because the chapter listed a series of strategies and antidotes on how
to create and hold on to strong friendships and business relationships. But
when it came to the romantic relationship portion; I really didn’t have much to
say. I honestly never thought that I
would be at this stage of my life and still be alone; but having the knowledge
of where and how I went wrong certainly helps.
It also helps to know that after all of this time I have no intention of
letting go of my desire to find my soulmate; something that has changed for me
over the last several years. While I was
writing my book I was of the opinion that maybe a long term relationship was
just not in the cards for me. But after
I came into a closer relationship with God and started reading the details of
His thoughts on the topic; my stance has changed. Now, I have a strong desire to be in a
relationship and an equally strong desire to be married again. I failed at marriage the first time, mostly
due to my lack of maturity and character.
However, there are some things you just can’t change about the past and contrary
to popular belief; you actually don’t always get a second chance. However, even though we might not get a
second chance on something we failed at; God will always give us “another” chance; and this is the space I
reside in now.
Over the course of my life I have not had a great deal of
experience witnessing other great relationships and certainly great marriages. But that has changed for me now, because I
choose to see things differently. I have
many friends that have excellent marriages, and it pleases me greatly that they
have found their soulmates. What I’ve
realized is that the lens in which I viewed relationships through was quite skewed
and just off base. I always looked at
things like sexual attraction and what I would look like to others with the
right girl on my arm. What I know now is
that it’s truly about being equally yoked; having the same belief systems and
being able to communicate openly and honestly with each other.
In addition, each person needs to have their own purpose in
life and the two purposes of each individual have to somehow link to
each other. This is what I believe makes
a beautiful and lasting relationship.
Not that I would know firsthand, but having the deep knowledge of what I
think makes it work gives me the hope that I need to cling onto the fact that
God has the perfect mate out there for me.
Yes, I get lonely, but when I really think about it and pray about it; I
know that God is still doing work inside me and the right girl will show up on
His time table and not mine.
One of the things I like about Facebook is that I get to
follow the lives of people that are important to me. I’ve made many great
friends over the years, and I truly enjoy the fact that I can keep up with them
through their posts, even though we may not even be talking. I write quite often about legacy and
eternity. I believe in and write about
purpose and why we are all here, and I honestly believe that part of my purpose
in life is to share personal information about my journey, my struggles, and my
success. But mostly about struggle, and
pain, and overcoming objections. Because
that is real life, not the fantasy that you see on some people’s FB page. Yes, it’s great to see them share positive
updates on their families and friends and their whereabouts. But I believe it’s also important for each of
us to find their calling; the absolute reason that God put us here on this
earth. The fact that I believe
that I know my purpose in the guide post that keeps me going. I have had an extremely tormented life over the last 6/7
years, but writing about my struggles and sharing through the written word keeps
the wind in my sails. It keeps me
aligned with my God given purpose; and even though that so called “success” hasn’t manifested in my life in
a tangible manner; I feel whole that I’m in constant pursuit of who God made me
to be. Today, it’s about writing about
relationships and connected souls. I
know that people who are struggling with this aspect of their lives will find
comfort in the fact that they are not alone.
I also hope that they will find equal comfort and strong belief that God
has someone for EVERYONE. If you are
with your soulmate now, than HOLD ON to that precious person. If you are not, I would encourage you to pray
NOT for the right person to show up; but to BE the right person for someone
else. This is my goal and this is my plan. What is yours?
I hope my thoughts and words have meaning for those reading
this today; I will close with my latest poem;
Last night I awoke from
a painful and lonely dream, rolled over in bed, and realized that I was still
alone
Fear and doubt set in
as I tried to get back to sleep; no luck; so I reached for my loyal companion,
my cell phone;
As I thumbed through
Facebook posts of friends both old and new; the loneliness reached a new height
So I turned the phone
off, got out of bed, went to my knees and started talking to The Lord about my
plight:
My thoughts again ran
wild; when will it be my turn for a soulmate? When will I stop being
frustrated?
And alone, with no one
to hold, no one to kiss, no one to share my innermost thoughts; will I get that
chance?
To called someone my
own, to share my life with another; to LOVE and once and for all get out of
this trance
This empty space that
has gripped me too long; but I WILL NOT quit; The Lord will make the path clear
After all, He has
promised me new life if I follow Him; He wants me to be fulfilled and to lose
the fear;
Who takes pride when I
fall, when I am lonely, when I weep; but He is no match for my God; and even
though;
My connected soul has
not appeared in my life; she is out there waiting for me to be the answer to
her prayer
She lies in wait for a
man who yearns to be united with another; and although it sometimes seems
unfair;
I will wait patiently
for God to complete His work in me and for the timing to be right
To be with another, to
share my life, to be in love, and to fight the good and faithful fight!!
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